My Name is Peter Pettigrew
by Scooterbug8515
Summary: My name is Peter Pettigrew and you must understand me. You must understand my demons. I once was not what I appear today. I pray that you can find it in you to see what I see and forgive me. I do not intend to make excuses for myself, I just want to prese
1. Introductions

_ My name is Peter Pettigrew and you must understand me. You must understand my demons. I once was not what I appear today. I pray that you can find it in you to see what I see and forgive me. If you should choose not to do so, I will understand, it is what I deserve. I just hope you will at least understand me. I do not intend to make excuses for myself, I just want to present the basic facts and allow you make a decision about me based upon those facts._

_When it comes to presenting the basic facts, it is hard to decide where to begin and where to end. There is so much I wish you to see to understand. I wish I could just present you with a pensive of my memories and allow you to visually see it all, but there is no way for me to get that to you so thus I must resign myself to a simple quill and parchment._

_Thinking it over I guess the best place to start would be sometime before I received my letter to Hogwarts. Ah, the memories they bring me back to simpler times. Things were less dark and confusing back then. Everything was black and white with little gray area between. Hogwarts was the place where the gray area grew and my time there ended with me having lost sight of the white and finding it ever more difficult to distinguish between the gray and the black. _

_I am sure now that you are wondering where I am meaning to go with this letter, so I think it wise to start my life's story now: _

"Pete-Pie! Mail!" called Mrs. Pettigrew from the lower levels of the Pettigrew house. Peter, grew up knowing about magic, but never sure if he himself was magical. He had never tried it, he was afraid of being a disappointment to his parents. It wasn't like he was allowed to practice magic at home any way.

Peter slowly came down the stairs wondering who would send him a letter. Peter had only received one letter in his life and that was from his grandmum on his 8th birthday just before she passed away. Peter only ever felt close to one person, his grandmum she didn't care weather he was magical, she only cared about Peter. She didn't call him by a sickenly-sweat nickname either. She called him Peter, and that was all.

Peter reached out for the letter his mum held out for him to take. There was a look upon her face that Peter was not used to seeing. He looked down at the letter and saw that written in green in was a letter address to him and it was from Hogwarts. So that it explained it, it explained the look upon his mum's face. He was magical, he wasn't a squid like so many thought. Peter instantly knew the expectations that were now before him.

"Well, aren't you going to open it?" demanded Peters mum.

Peter looked over his letter. He did not want to open it he wished that he never would have received it. He felt more qualified to live as a disappointment to his family rather than attempting to live up to the expectations that they would now set before him. Peter slowly broke the seal on the letter and opened it. I held exactly what it was supposed to hold a letter congratulating him on his acceptance to Hogwarts and a list of supplies needed.

"Congratulations, I guess this means that you'll need to go to Diagon Alley then. How does this weekend sound?"

"Good, I guess," weekly answered Peter never meeting his mothers eyes. This was not what he wanted.

Mrs. Pettigrew gave Peter one of those rare hugs. It felt so foreign to him. After his hug Peter went upstairs to think about his situation. He didn't ask for this, but his fate was sealed.

_Though this is only a glimpse into my life, it is all I have to time to write for now. Snape beckons me, though I am grateful that he is keeping me here despite the cramped conditions, life can be difficult. I assume he wants me to fetch something of his, or even be a guinea pig for one of his experiments. Life here is quite unbearable, but this is what I have and what my Master commands of me. Snape calls again, he is impatient with me, I must go for now._


	2. And so we Meet

_It is so cold, I am barely able to hold this quill. Snape decided to experiment upon me. I believe it was a freezing potion, but what do I know? I am not well adverse in potions. To tell the truth I am not that talented in anything magical. I was fair in Herbology, but that is another story. For now I must continue on with this one, I must finish before it is too late._

_Now, where did I leave off? Ah, I remember. I left off with me in my room pondering my miserable fate, little did I know then that it would become this bad. Nothing much more came from that day. I guess the next important thing to happen in my life would be the trip to Diagon Alley. I am sure you are aware what it is like to shop at Diagon Alley, despite any changes that have occurred over time. The buzz of life, the people nothing but life, something not found in my house. That may be why I was drawn to James and Sirius… but that is an issue than needs be addressed latter in my account, not now._

Peter looked eagerly around, taking in the sites of Diagon Alley, the place almost seemed to breath new life into him. What wonderful things lay beyond many of the highly decorated windows?

"Where is you list?" gruffly demanded Peter's father.

Peter began searching his pockets; he could not remember which pocket he had put his list in. A panic began to set in as he had checked three of his four pockets, he knew if his list was not there he would be punished harshly. Peter swallowed hard as his hand reached into his last pocket; his eyes grew large when he realized that his list was not there either.

"Well? Where is it?" demanded Mr. Pettigrew.

"I – I – I," stammered Peter.

"Speak up boy!"

"I can't find it," rushed Peter with one breath.

"You what?"

"I – I – I," continued Peter as he desperately searched for an answer which came to him in the least expected way.

"Excuse me," butted in a slender boy with messy hair and glasses, "I think you dropped this."

"I did?" asked Peter is wonderment, he vaguely remembered leaving his list on his desk at home.

"Yeah, you're looking for a list, and I found this on the ground, so it must be yours," answered the boy winking at Peter.

"Thank you," nodded Peter taking the list from the boy.

"Anytime," smiled the boy as he ran off, most likely to join someone for something.

"Well, are you going to tell me what you need or do I need to do it myself?" sneered Mr. Pettigrew.

"Well, um…" began Peter as he began to look over the list.

"Never you mind, I'll do it myself otherwise we'll never get out of here," interrupted Mr. Pettigrew snatching the list from Peter's hands.

It was a miserable day for Peter. He wanted to say hello to the girl with red hair getting fitted in the mirror next to him, but he knew his father would not approve. Even if he did approve Peter was too scared.

Before long, Peter's dad bumped into the Blacks. He was quite pleased to see others that were purebloods, and took some time to hobnob with them. With Mr. Black came two other children, Peter marked them to be around his age maybe a bit older. One was a girl and the other was a boy.

The girl was tall, thin with long brown hair; she seemed to command a presence about her. She seemed to judge people with out ever meeting them. Peter hated to find out what she thought of him.

"Yes," coolly smirked Mr. Black, "This is Sirius' first year at Hogwarts as well. We are expecting nothing less than Slytherin. The whole family has been in the house for generations."

Peter did not pay very much attention to the conversation between his dad and Mr. Black and looked to the boy whom he assumed was Sirius. He was slightly shorter than the girl but Peter figured it was because the girl was older. Sirius didn't seem much like the girl, but he seemed to be a person not to cross. To Peter there seemed to be something different about Sirius, almost the way he carried himself, like he didn't own the place and all others should bow to him, very unlike the girl that was with him. Sirius seemed distracted as well. Peter couldn't pick out why. It was sudden when Sirius noticed him.

"Hello," he said barley keeping eye contact with Peter; he seemed to be looking for something.

"Um.. Hello," responded Peter meekly.

This called the attention of the girl, which made Peter feel uncomfortable. She probed and pierced him with her cool blue eyes. After she made a quick judgment on Peter she hissed Sirius' name as if to tell him to not to engage Peter.

This was all Sirius needed to cause him to make a concentrated effort to talk to Peter.

"I'm Sirius," he smiled at Peter, as he gave a wicked glance at the girl.

"P-Peter," he answered kindly not sure what to make of Sirius.

"This here is my cousin Narcissa, she's stuck up so don't mind her."

"Sirius!" admonished Narcissa as she turned from ignoring Peter.

"What? That is what you are! Pretty much everyone in my family are stuck up like Cissy here."

Peter only nodded, not sure what to say.

"I take you're a first year?"

Peter only nodded in the affirmative.

"Me too! Maybe we'll be in the same house together. Which one do you think you'll be in?"

"I don't know," answered Peter, in fact he had never thought about it. He knew that most of his family ended up in Slytherin or Ravenclaw. But those houses didn't seem right for him he knew he was not cunning nor was he super smart. Gryffindor did not seem to suit him either, and Huffelpuff was for people who, for people like him… maybe that was the house for him, as sad as it was or maybe his letter was mistaken and he was a squib after all, then there would be no house for him.

"What house do you think you will be in?"

"Come along Peter!" ordered Mr. Pettigrew grabbing Peter's shoulder, before Sirius could answer what house he thought he'd be in.


End file.
